With so much heated discussion about gay marriage, I felt a need to share my feelings with you about why I am supporting Proposition 8. I’ve been concerned with the view of many that those in favor of this measure are intolerant, discriminating and hateful bigots and hope that I’m not looked upon in this way. I don’t expect that all of you will agree with me, but want you to at least be able to better understand my position.
I have spent time attending/hosting “Yes on 8” meetings, walking neighborhoods to poll registered voters, writing letters of protest, and waving signs on street corners. We have “Yes on 8” signs in our front and back yards and bumper stickers on our cars. In a time when we’re concerned about the economy and dwindling investments, we have also given to financially support this measure. Many people have done much more, but I’ve tried to do my part.
I am not a political activist and rarely take a stand publicly. I don’t like confronting people, but have stepped out of my comfort zone to support this cause. Why do I care so much about this measure passing? There are a number of reasons, but it all comes down to protecting what I have.
I am not anti-gay, nor have I ever been concerned with the issue of gay people receiving equal rights. It’s natural for them to want what we’ve got and all people deserve to be treated equally and respectfully. This country is set apart from the world because we value equal rights and freedom—- “with liberty and justice for all.” It’s not until I feel my rights (and other things I hold dear) being threatened, that the “mama bear” in me comes out.
I have been happily married to the same man for over 26 years. Why wouldn’t everyone want that? This fight is about protecting the institution of marriage. The dictionary even defines marriage as a union between a man and a woman. More importantly, I believe marriage is ordained of God as the essential unit for our happiness here in life. I don’t want to have my marriage come to represent something less by having it redefined by four supreme court judges. I don’t object to gay unions— just don’t try to make it the same by calling it “marriage”.
Those supporting Proposition 8 want to protect children from being taught by others that heterosexual and homosexual marriages are the same. Much has been said about same sex marriage being taught in school. My children are almost all grown, so this issue doesn’t affect me as much personally now. But I have spent all of my parenting years trying to teach our children about the sacredness of the husband/wife relationship and would’ve home-schooled my children if they’d been subjected to being taught otherwise in school, (especially at a young age!) When we see what has happened in Massachusetts with books about same sex marriage read in second grade classes and in San Francisco, where first graders are taken on a field trip to a lesbian wedding, I can understand why parents are concerned. As San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom stated, “It’s gonna happen” and we’ve already seen evidence of that. (For a recent example, see article link below.)
Though this has been the focus of the Prop 8 advertising, there are so many other issues at stake! Gay couples don’t just want to have equal rights— they’ve already got that under California state law. They want to legitimize their unions by forcing their acceptance on others who believe differently. This is when I especially take issue with gay marriage— when they try to force it on others. I know there are many gay couples who will quietly wed and go on with their lives. (Good for them! I wish them the best of happiness!) But there are also those who have, and will continue, to try to make a statement by enforcing their right to equality.
Gay couples have sued for these rights and won, even when it has infringed upon the rights of others! Churches have been sued for restricting the use of their facilities and clergy for not wanting to sanction gay weddings by performing them. It’s not a stretch to think that in the future, religious organizations may be attacked and lose their tax exempt status for refusing to bend on their principles. Even a photographer in New Mexico lost a lawsuit filed by a gay couple trying to force her to provide her services at their wedding. (See article below.) I get riled up when I think of the rights that could be taken from so many by a vocal minority.
After being allowed to marry, the next natural step is to want to have children. This saddens me because I think that there is a reason children need both a father and a mother to raise them. God intended it that way and created us so that this is the only natural way to have children. When my son was in middle school, he had a friend who had two mothers (who were very loving parents, I must add). I discussed with my son the fact that they had different moral values than we had. He went to their house a number of times and even spent the night. Though I didn’t condone their relationship, I respected their rights and feelings.
However, I would not support intentionally putting a child in any home without both a mother and a father, whether it be through adoption or artificial insemination. Yet gay couples have already won lawsuits in both of these circumstances. I applaud Catholic Charities of Boston for refusing to place a child in a gay home against their beliefs and I am irate that they were forced to close their doors rather than be compelled by the courts to comply! (See article below) Having a family member who gave a child up for adoption this hits close to home.
I was also enraged when I heard about two fertility doctors in Vista, CA, who had been sued for not wanting to do in vitro fertilization for a lesbian couple. Even though they tried to refer them to another doctor who would perform the procedure, they were sued and lost when the California Supreme Court on 8/18/08 unanimously ruled that homosexual rights trump First Amendment rights of religious freedom and free speech! Having a daughter in medical school, I vigorously want to protect her right to practice medicine according to her convictions.
If Proposition 8 does not pass, I can foresee a time in our future when we will increasingly be seen as intolerant bigots and put on trial for the very beliefs we have. Religious leaders may even be taken to court for teaching their doctrine because it seems prejudicial. What will happen to our freedom to worship as we please— the very foundation upon which our country was built?!!
I am not trying to deny anyone their rights, but vow to fight to protect my own and the values that I have. I will continue to do all that I can for this cause, because I feel it is my right and duty to do so. While I don’t expect to change anyone’s feelings on this heated issue, I hope you can better understand my position.
Sincerely,
Barbara L.
“When Gay Rights and Religious Liberties Clash”:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=91486191&sc=emaf
“School holds surprise ‘Gay’ Day for kindergartners”:
http://www.worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=78829 and follow-up story:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,445865,00.html
