Silly Me
In retrospect I guess I did a silly thing. I decided to go ahead with elective, replacement surgery on my right knee. It was elective because it was not mandatory that I do the surgery. Although I felt some pain and stiffness in the knee when I walked too far, pushed myself on a treadmill, or just sat too long, I could have put it off. However, told by my family doc that complications can develop the older you get, I decided to do it.
What a mistake! Ignoring the fact that I was indeed “old”, I had the surgery on the 23rd of September. When completed, the surgeon reported to the BW that the knee was a mess, but that the operation was a success. He then proceeded to take a week’s vacation.
No vacation for me, however. I awoke from the operation with a severe anxiety attack along with shortness of breath. I was so damned scared (at nothing in particular; just frightened) that if I were so inclined, I would have jumped out of that 3rd story window. I tried to express my emotions to the nurse, but she brushed it off with a comment about temporary post operation stress. There was, however, nothing temporary about this.
Frightened, I did not sleep that night. When I explained my feelings to my wife the next morning, she searched the Internet for the pain med I was taking, and learned that it, Norco, was a very powerful narcotics-based medication with possible side effects of – are you ready? – severe anxiety, panic, fear and shortness of breath. She called the hospital and got me off that medication immediately. Unfortunately 2 similar medications had the same effect. I even had to try to sleep with a light on.
I was discharged 2 days later without instructions for relieving the pain nor, and I did not mention this, advice or dressing for handling large, marble-sized blisters that developed on the side of my leg (like something out of a horror movie). We called the orthopedic office and insisted that they redress the leg, blisters and all. Incidentally, when the assistant saw the blisters, I thought he was going to faint. Before leaving, we asked to see the surgeon, but were advised he was with another patient. The irony and reality of life became evident when, as we were leaving through one of the hallways, who popped out of one of one of the examination rooms, but his lordship, himself, the surgeon. I greeted him, but as he looked at me, I realized that he did not know who I was.
Giving up then on getting any real help from them, we contacted my family doc who switched me to a Codeine compound for the pain. While that gave me considerably more relief than Advil, it seemed to have similar, though milder, anxiety issues like the narcotic meds I had been taking. I have decided then to go the “rest of the “way” with Tylenol. The pain will be greater, but the anxiety hopefully will dissipate. As a matter of fact, I commenced outside therapy this week, and have not felt more pain than usual.
So, it appears that I’m finally making some progress. If the anxiety does not disappear, I may end up a nut case, but I’ll be walking a hell of a lot better. One thing I must add is that my dear wife has shown again that she is one of the world’s great women. She has compassionately been there for me morning and night with whatever I need including a lot of patience understanding. Without her, I don’t know where I would be. Will it be worth all I’m going through? Even with my now valuable Titanium ($) knee, I’m not sure, but pain or not, “Lefty” aint getting that surgery!!
AHS 10/2010
